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Forget about happiness or temporary pleasures and start focusing on being whole.

“Flowers do not force their way with great strife. Flowers open to perfection slowly in the sun…. Don’t be in a hurry about spiritual matters. Go step by step, and be very sure.”-White Eagle

I mentioned in my earlier post How To Start Finding Joy that I would always look for situations or things that would make me happy, only to realize that that happiness was only temporary.  At the time I didn’t realize that what I was truly seeking was joy.  I was so focused on finding something that would make me feel whole, finding something that would allow me to feel as though I no longer had to worry just because I had this one thing that could fix everything at the end of my horrible days.  The thing was and many of us do this, is try to find hope in other things. We try to place our hopes on other people or activities, but as I mentioned what a lot of us don’t come to realize is that what we are really looking for is joy.

Again, I describe joy as not being temporary, to me joy is a constant state of being at peace with yourself, it is an ongoing love of living and acceptance.  Many of us do not care for joy, in fact many of us are so removed from the idea of finding joy that our focus is solely on tasks we need to get done on a daily basis.  Many of us forget that the person living within us also has tasks, and those tasks are to feel whole and alive so that we may truly enjoy our journey in this world.  

When I say “forget about happiness”  I don’t mean, don’t take pleasure in the wonderful world that surrounds us.  By all means, find things that make you happy and do them!  Try different music, read books, travel!  When I say “forget about happiness or temporary pleasures and focus on being whole” I mean that too.  So let me clear it up.  

If you are more focused on temporary pleasure you will never find joy.  If you are always seeking happy time activities and after those activities are over you still feel like something is missing, then you have not found joy.  If you stray too far from what you truly seek, it will take you much longer to find your way back.  If you take part in activities that make you feel those bursts of happiness and after they are over you feel just as complete and whole as you did before the activity, then you have found joy.  You realize that things don’t make you happy, you and your inner connectedness are what you truly need in order to live in this world, without the need of outside stimulation or temporary pleasures.

How do I go from seeking temporary pleasures to finding joy?

Finding joy requires you to look inward  At first it requires that you constantly check yourself for inner unease and straying intentions.  We have become so absorbed with outer stimulation that we don’t even recognize when we are thinking or acting in ways that do not truly enhance us.  Finding joy begins with a look at our inner selves.  Begin your journey by asking yourself if what you are doing is really you.  If you are at work and people begin to gossip with you and you normally go along with it to have a laugh, then ask yourself if that person who is laughing at someone else’s expense is really you?  If you are walking in the mall and people are passing by and you would normally judge their looks just so you could temporarily feel better or because you find it funny, then ask yourself if you are being true to yourself. 

When we begin to question our actions we can then begin to question ourselves and ask ourselves if the person we are, really is the person we hope to be.  Even if you cannot yet find joy, you are beginning to see that you want change and in order to want change there has to be a realization that you are not feeling whole with the person you have become.  Although this realization at first may shake you, in the end if you continue on your journey toward joy and change you will benefit from shaking yourself up.  

Remember, finding joy begins with looking into yourself and once you look into yourself, you will be able to realize who you are and what makes you feel whole and complete.

Until next time, Mommy Friends!