How to Start Finding Joy: Part 5 of 6

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In the past, I have had moments where I’ve  caught myself thinking things like, “I’m not pretty enough.  I’m not thin enough.  My nose is too small.  If only I could be more confident then I could be as successful as her…” Then, after having all of these negative thoughts, I would move on with my day.  I would find myself feeling uncomfortable and sad and feeling as though I was being judged by others.  Then once my day would come to an end, I would feel miserable.  All I would want to do is eat or not eat, watch TV and lay under my blanket…all while feeling uncomfortable with the person I thought I was.  

If you want to find joy, you must feel and know your worth.  Yet, in order to do this you must begin to filter your thoughts because the only person that is responsible for bringing you down is you.  When we get ourselves into self-critical ruts, it is solely us that puts us there.  We begin to think that the people in our lives should change so that we can feel better but really we are the only ones in control of how we feel and see ourselves.  

Your family, friends and your perceptions about the world around you create the thoughts of your mind; especially your unsettling thoughts.  Most of the things that we think throughout the day say nothing about who we actually are, they are just random thoughts but we attribute meaning to them.  

We choose not to feel better.  Negative thoughts are infectious.  We decide whether we want the thoughts in our head to continue to be positive or negative.   People are conditioned to think that our thoughts are not changeable and that if we think the thoughts we have, then they must be true.  But a belief is just a thought that we continue to think.  Therefore, if we believe we are unattractive or unworthy then that is enough to convince ourselves that it must be true.  Similarly, if we begin to think the best thoughts about ourselves, then that will become our new truth.

How do you catch and change your thoughts? 

Your mind wants you to think bad things because that is what your mind is used to doing, so you must learn to think differently.  It requires willingness, effort and a conscious decision to want improvement in your life.  Initially, it is about learning to turn off the critic within so that you can gain your control back.  Eventually, thinking negatively about yourself, will feel strange.  You will no longer feel a need to think that way.  

When you catch your mind thinking negatively about yourself, stop those thoughts. Accept that these thoughts are coming from your mind and not your inner being and realize that those thoughts don’t define who you are and let it go.  You’re probably thinking, “what is my inner being?”.  Your inner being has been alive since before you were in the womb.  It is your true essence, the part of you that is beautiful just as is.  It is your all knowing awareness that you and everyone around you is love. Your mind on the other hand has been alive from the day you began to understand.

Catch yourself when you are thinking negatively and know that that current thought doesn’t make you who you are.  When you find yourself thinking negatively, allow yourself to filter your mind by telling yourself that those thoughts are keeping you from finding the joy within you.  Knowing when and how to change your thoughts will lead you towards joy.  

Are you willing to put in the work in order to find joy by changing your thoughts?  Comment below.

Until next time, Mommy Friend!

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